I hate when things sound like they are supposed to rhyme but don’t (there is a comedian named Brian Regan who has a bit about Dora the Explorer kind of rhyming but not – perfect example). There is a restaurant near my old apartment called Nellie’s Deli. Nellie Deli rhymes but Nellie’s Deli doesn’t. Every time I drove by it, I’d just let those words roll around my head. Why? It’s just annoying to me. There is also a store that sales ergonomic chairs and memory foam mattresses called Relax the Back. It kind of rhymes but doesn’t. It needs to change its name to Relax the Backs. Are they unaware of this? When I drive by it, I just say those words in my head over and over again. You might be thinking, well, it worked because you remember these places. Maybe they should rename these places Scrotum or Anus because I’d remember that, too. “Oh yeah, Scrotum has some great open faced roast beef sandwiches.”
The whole bathroom situation in my house is a mess. Actually, it’s the whole towel situation. My wife uses three towels every time she takes a shower, and without fail, she always takes a shower before me. Now, I’m all about saving laundry work and not using a new towel every time I shower. I imagine most people are clean when they get out of the shower, so it makes sense not to use a new one each time – just hang them up to dry. If my wife and I used new towels each time, we’d go through at least twenty-one a week. That’s an unreasonable amount of work. My problem is that she always takes a shower before me. Our towel rack really only fits three towels, so I always end up using a damp towel. I basically just smear the water off of me. I scream, “Injustice!” every day. I look forward to the day when I can use a dry towel. I’ve tried toilet paper but it’s just not the same.
I went to the store today to buy our weekly groceries. I bought the staple dinner items. I bought some different micro brewed beers (the seasonal spring time Blue Moon option and (Houston’s own) St. Arnold’s Lawnmower – both delicious). I even talked to a young woman about which beer purchases she should make. After I purchased all of the items, I left the store. As I walked out, I passed by some big reflective mirrors. My fly was down the entire time. Classic.