100th Post!!!

This is my 100^th post! It’s an accomplishment, I suppose. Not to sound arrogant or anything but I didn’t have any doubt I would stick with this blog thing, so meh. This does give me an opportunity to reflect on blogging in general. I wrote about what I had learned about blogging before, but this time I’m going to write about what I know now or still have questions about.

-           Does the way my blog looks matter? Like, if my content is of high quality (big IF there!), would people read it anyway? Does having a nice header make a difference? Do pretty, professional pictures make a difference? If any of these things are true then I’m in trouble because my blog looks like a fifth grader made it. Seriously, I bet I could get a fifth grader, show him how to log on to Blogger, and he could do a better job. I have no idea how to use HTML (I started reading about it but quickly got sucked into an episode of Gangland that was on in the background). Also, it was too hard.

My blog is like the chick in college who never wears make-up to class, wears pajamas everywhere, and has hair like a rat’s nest, but if you catch her at the right angle, there’s something there. Oh, there’s something there. She’s down to party, too.

-          Getting people to read requires a lot of sucking up. I always thought that if my blog was good enough one person would read and tell a friend and they’d tell a friend and so on. It does not work like that. The only way to get people to read is to read their blog. I feel like a few people kind of have a well-what’s-in-it-for-me attitude, and that’s cool. Have I already become disillusioned? I’m not talking about you! Of course not!

-          I’m getting to where I don’t remember what I’ve already written. I think, did I write a post about the hair smudge yet? Oh yeah, last week, duh. I have blogging Alzheimer’s.

-          I need to take my followers counter down. I’ve come to the conclusion that keeping that tally up only serves one purpose: people will follow if they think your blog is big enough in hopes that people will follow them in return. It’s okay. I did that, too. Also, some people have like 300 followers and 5 posts. What does having followers mean? Are they little trophies? The question is: will people read my blog if they don’t think I have any followers? Methinks not, so maybe I’ll leave it up for now.

I will admit that it’s useful for adding blogs to your Google reader, so you can check them out later.

-          With all of that being said about followers and the ways of blogging, I thoroughly enjoy reading some of the other blogs out there. Some of you do a great job, and I try to read and comment on everything you post. I really try to keep my blogroll pretty close to what I read and like the most.

-          My wife wants me to blog about my dogs more. She has never laughed at one of my posts but giggles with pure, utter ecstasy when I write about our dogs. When I put a picture of them on my blog, it makes her week. 

This is all for now. I’ll try to have something funny for you on Sunday. No promises though. I mean I will have something on Sunday. No promises on the funny part.

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I'm participating in TexaGermaNadian's blog hop. Check it out! Her site is super cute.

Advice to College Guys

According to WebMD, “The most common symptom of acute bronchitis is a cough that is dry and hacking at first. After a few days, the cough may bring up mucus. You may have a low fever and feel tired.” You will thank me for this later college guys.

When I was in college, I began having these symptoms. Because I didn’t know how to go to the doctor in college, I went to the emergency room. I went to the emergency room any time anything was wrong. In Austin, I literally lived across the street from St. David’s Hospital, so what the hell, right? You can’t beat the convenience. That is all beside the point (whoa… by the way… there is a huge debate online whether to use beside or bedsides there); the doctor saw me, quickly determined I had bronchitis, and sent me on my way with a prescription with only a mild scolding for wasting the hospital’s time and resources.

I went to the nearest pharmacy and got my prescription filled. The lady behind the counter said, “Just pour the powder into some hot water and drink it. You should better pretty quickly.” She then handed me a box marked: Chlamydia.

I said, “Uh, I don’t have Chlamydia. I have bronchitis. There must be some mistake.”

“You kind of look like a scum bag, so I thought you might need it,” she said with her eyes.

“Oh, yeah, the same medicine is used to treat both ailments. It’ll work,” she really said.

I took the box and made a beeline for my apartment, being ultra-careful not to run into anyone I knew (especially my then girlfriend who lived in the apartment across the hall. “Oh, what’s this box with Chlamydia written across the front? It’s for my lungs. Don’t worry about it.”). Ultimately, I took the medicine without running in to anyone or having any problems, and my bronchitis cleared up pretty quickly soon thereafter. The moral of this story is if you’re a scumbag, a loose woman, or just have discharge coming from your penis or rectum, memorize the symptoms at the top of this page. If you do a good job of faking it, you can get out of that pinch without the embarrassment of an anal probe.

P.S. I thought Chlamydia and crabs were the same thing, so I had a bunch of crab puns all throughout my post. “If you’re in a pinch…” It turns out that they are not the same. There appears to be quite a bit more oozing with Chlamydia.