I haven’t written about this in a while, but my dogs are still trying to kill me. I’ve been keeping a small journal of their activities on my phone, so if someone needed the proof, a la Paranormal Activity 2, they would see it. After the original September post, here is what happened the rest of the month.
Monday, Sept. 20th: Went to the pantry to find something to eat but nothing looked too appetizing. Found a baguette. Took a bite out of it and almost cracked a molar. Decided it would have to do. Walked to the couch holding the baguette in my hand. Sampson jumped up and snatched it away. He ran off and hid under the table. Tried to reach him but he kept scooting away from me. Bonked my head getting up. Possible torn ACL.
Synopsis: He is trying to starve me. He is much quicker and more agile than me. Need to find a way to combat this. Net?
Tuesday, Sept. 28th: Just got home, let the dogs out, and fed them. Let them back in to give them a treat. Earl walking between my legs. I’m very unsteady. Could possibly fall. Sampson bouncing and pushing on the back of my knee with both front paws. I’m very unsteady. Could possibly fall. Gained balance on the counter. Gave them treat despite attempts to crack my skull.
Synopsis: They are trying to take me out of the game but perhaps are keeping me around for the treats. Treats=survival. The ball’s in my court.
Thursday, Sept. 30th: Watching Pardon the Interruption and laying on the couch. Earl putting his substantial mass on my… male parts. Tried to move him but he hunkered down. Hard to move a bowling ball.
Synopsis: Is he trying to make mine a fruitless crown? Methinks not!