Saturday, November 13, 2010

Well, My Mom and Wife Will Like It (Part 2)

I'm posting quickly so people won't think the worst of me. For this to make sense, you'd need to read the first post.

Part 2

Well, actually, I didn’t go out with Mark. I went to bed early because I had a 2 ½ hour drive to Austin the next morning. My wife’s sister (we’ll call her PJ) lives there with her husband (fiancĂ© (we’ll call him CJ), at the time). CJ and I had already talked extensively about this. He knew I was coming well ahead of time. He even, quite sneakily I might add, was able to keep it from PJ. She had no idea I was coming and Wife didn’t know I was going. It was the perfect crime. 

On the way to Austin, I let CJ know my every move. He knew exactly where I was at all times. When I got close, he found a way to keep PJ in the house. She wanted to go to the gym (like the good little gym rat she is), but he managed to stall her. “Let’s finish watching CSI: Miami” and, “I need to potty.” He found a way – God bless him, he found a way. 

I showed up in Austin and knocked on their door. PJ answered and was shocked to see me. I’m not sure her first instinct was to assume I was there to ask for her sister’s hand in marriage. She asked, “What are you in town for?” I popped the prerequisite question: “I’m here to ask you if it’s okay for me to marry your sister.” Not really a question I suppose. She said, yes, and we rejoiced, tears, etc. In fact, we went to a local bar in the area to celebrate and played bar trivia. We won! Don’t ever doubt my knowledge of The Simpsons and Seinfeld! Conan O’Brien wrote the Monorail episode and the lady that fired George Costanza from the bra company was his girlfriend (different character) in the episode where Elaine is taking an art class. I was on summer break; I was watching TV for 10 hours a day.  I was two for two that night.

That night was pretty scary because wife wanted to come over to work on her computer, which I borrowed for summer league. The jig was almost up! If she went to my apartment, she would probably spend the night. I told her that I went out with Mark again (by the way, she was getting pissed about that – something about packing), and if I didn’t come home that night when she was expecting me, I’d be in for a serious world of hurt. Luckily, the Fates destined for this to work out and she didn't come over. 

Part 3 -- coming soon!