Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Things I've Learned

I’m going to take a page from my fellow blogger Lex at and discuss what I’ve learned from my 5 months or so of blogging. 

I haven’t learned much.

1.    I use Google Analytics to track how many people visit my site. The word analytics has one C. I pronounce it with two C’s most of the time – analyictics. It sounds more scientific to me though I’m not doing it on purpose; I just mispronounce it.

2.    Getting the font style, font size, and spacing consistent throughout the entire blog seems impossible. I’ve tried everything. Three posts are the same and then – BAM – different. Sometimes the spacing is bigger and sometimes the font size is different. I think the fellows at Blogger are trying to drive my anal-retentive wife crazy. If my font ends up in wing-dings, we’ll all know the conspiracy is on.

3.    Apparently, font with curly letters is hard to read. My wife and my brother both told me to fix it. I used Courier before because I thought it looked like a private investigator from the 1920’s would use it – like I was cracking a case about the ass splitting pants, but no, it’s actually hard to read.

4.    Getting followers takes work. I don’t mean followers as in readers; I mean followers as in people who will put their picture on the side of my blog. No one wants to do it. I see other people and they have like 700. I have 16 (11 of which are people I saw at the last wedding I went to). My brother told me that it doesn’t do anything to officially follow and anyone who wants to read it will just RSS it. But, I like to have their smiling faces looking back at me when I post. It lets me feel like I’m doing this for them to read when they are supposed to be working. Or just want to relax with something to read on the can.

5.    What the hell is It’s apparently a Russian furniture website, yet I consistently get readers from that site. I tried to read it but it’s written in the same language as on the outside of Superman’s incubator-spaceship from Krypton. If you’re the remroom guy, what’s up?!?

6.    Another thing with foreigners: are you really reading my blog? On my little site visit trackers, I get visits from Denmark, UK, Argentina, Slovenia, Philippines, etc. I suspect that someone I know is travelling the world and stopping off at little cafes and using the WIFI to read my blog.

If that’s not the case and if you’re one of these guys, I apologize for how I present Americans. We are not all ass splitting, fast food craving, idiots a la Hank Hill, Peter Griffin, Homer Simpson – just 90% of us are.

7.    Drawing pictures is the easy way out of truly writing and describing something. It’s like the caveman’s way of blogging. “You don’t get how I killed that mammoth? Just look at the cave painting! It clearly depicts how he was pooping and got him in the neck – BAM with a spear!”

8.    It has taught me how obsessive I can be. I look at my stats constantly. Why does it matter? I think my stats basically keep up with how many times a day I read my own blog. “Ooo, I had 5 hits last hour! It came from my IP address?!? Oh no! Is someone in my house?”

9.    I’ve learned that not too many guys blog and, furthermore, not too many man blogs are of the humorous variety. Most are super serious. Usually, bloggers read blogs; therefore, not too many guys are reading my blog.

10.  With that being said, maybe I should make my blog more woman friendly. I’m read-YYY! Who wants to chat about wine, boys, and ponies?


  1. Well I'd disagree with your statement that you haven't learned much! You've been blogging consistently for 5 whole months, and just based on your list, I'd say you've learned tons! For instance, I bet you didn't even know what Google Analytics WAS 5 months ago, right? Google Analytics is fun to use, but it is also easy to get obsessed with it.

    As for the Google Followers in the sidebar, I think that's one big popularity contest, and since I'm already obsessive about Google Analytics, I've chosen not to use that too. I refuse to use it on my own blog, and no offense, I refuse to follow anyone that way. I follow blogs by subscribing and leaving comments, which in my opinion is so much more meaningful! (Though I guess you could argue having a blog Facebook fan page is a similar popularity contest....but a little more interactive.)

    I definitely like all of the changes you've made to your blog appearance. It is looking good, and much easier to read.

    Blog spam sucks. I don't even really understand the point of most of it (especially the ones with just a random paragraph of words that don't make sense), but I am thankful for my spam filter.

    I'll bet there are more guys blogging than you think, but yes, it does seem like most of the bloggers out there are women, doesn't it? Anyway, I think you should be true to yourself and true to your voice. But I'm sure you knew that already, right?

    Keep those blog posts coming, and congrats on 5 months of blogging!

  2. and am from Philippines but you need not worry coz i love both homer and peter =)
    nice blog! you earned yourself a new follower!

  3. OH man, whining will get you followers! Geez I have been doing this for almost 2 years and never tired whining.

    Paralytics seized by brain for a while but I learned to let it go.

    I love google followers but I am not sure it means much. They come for a while and they go, much like I do to their blogs.

    The puzzle: is there anyone out there reading who is not blogging?

    Why do I feel blogging is a sucking up game?

    I know several male bloggers most of the write comedy. Snoop around you will find them. Keep your male blog as manlike as possible, I like it and it is a breath of fresh (sort of) air.

    Desole Boy, I want a follower,too!

  4. I'm afraid now that blogger will start changing my font on me. (Dear blogger, please don't). Also, there are more women bloggers because we love to bitc- err express ourselves.
    Also, I had someone from Moscow and was SOO excited!
    And I wish I could draw cool caveman pictures!

  5. What's Desole Boy? You are the coveted foreigner! Do you have a blog?

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  7. Word, Lifeshighway. People that read blogs will sometimes become followers, but I can't get my best friends to become followers. They are not blog people. Maybe we should create a new word: non-blople,

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  9. Actually, Cara, I could have written a blog about things I've learned and wrote: Everything from Cara.


  10. I've read your blog a few times, and I'm a woman. And I'm not even related to you. Of course, I've also been told (more than once) that I have the sense of humor of a 13 year old boy. Also, I know some of your friends. It's not that they're not blog people: they're not word people.

  11. "It's not that they're not blog people: they're not word people."

    That made me laugh.

    Also- I left a comment on this entry a couple of days ago. Did it go into your spam filter? I swear it wasn't mean or offensive or anything.

  12. To Laura-

    You did? I don't know where it is. I can assure you that I didn't deny it. I would never deny anything from you!!!

  13. To Christie-

    Word, Christie. A certain someone that connects us probably hasn't finished a book since the 2001 ESPN Sports Almanac.

    Thanks for reading, Christie. You're the bomb.