Sucky Sunday

Today has been an overall extremely crappy day. First off, my wife is out of town, so I naturally let the dogs sleep in bed with me. They are a poor substitute for her but I’m accustomed to the bed being hogged. Unfortunately, one of them had an upset stomach last night and full on crapped all over the bed (that’s what I get for letting the dogs on the bed). I felt bad for him because he was obviously sick and too small (or fat) to jump off the bed in order to crap on the carper – that’s better I promise you. I woke up in a blind stupor an accidentally put my hand down in it. Just horrible. That kind of shit happens (you have to read that line imagining I have some sort of smug smile as I deliver that semi-obvious pun).

One of the worst problems is that I couldn’t find a dry cleaner in all of Houston open on a Sunday. Seriously people (I’m including everyone here, Chickfila, El Gallo, etc.), let’s stop with the closed Sunday thing. Go to church and then get your lazy ass back to work. Also, how can that be good for business when you are closed 1/7 of the year!?! Literally, 52 days of business that you are choosing not to make money. Can you all be making so much money that you don’t need more? Sunday is one of the good days of the week, too – almost everyone is off! You could be making more money, Service Industry. Geez.

Anyhow, back to the story, I had to clean the dog poop off by hand and leave it in the laundry room for the rest of the day. The thought of this sickens me, and I have drive heaved several times today as a result. After that morning’s fiasco, Earl, my pug, was acting weird and skittish, like one would expect from a sick dog. Well, he had poop – cliffhangers, as my friend, Paul, calls them – still stuck to his fur, so I had to give him a bath. Earl, who is fat like a pig, also shares the “hard to catch” trait of a pig. He runs around snorting, changing directions, and hiding under things, while I lumber slowly after him. I eventually tricked him with a treat – the fat dog’s hypnotic.

After all of that, I watched Shawshank Redemption on AMC all the while trying to muster up the strength to go to the grocery store. I finally got out of bed, got ready, and sat down in my car, and I noticed that I tracked dog crap onto my car’s floor carpet. I stepped in the very dog poo that I cleaned off the comforter earlier. Sigh.

Finally, after I cleaned my car and shoes, I went to the store and bought many delicious items, like meatballs for meatball sandwiches, Red Diamond Sweet Tea, and ice cream sandwiches. This all lead to the high point of my day: eating hot dogs for dinner.

I also bought some Tylnol PM so I can get out of this day as soon as possible.