Sunday, April 3, 2011

Sucky Sunday

Today has been an overall extremely crappy day. First off, my wife is out of town, so I naturally let the dogs sleep in bed with me. They are a poor substitute for her but I’m accustomed to the bed being hogged. Unfortunately, one of them had an upset stomach last night and full on crapped all over the bed (that’s what I get for letting the dogs on the bed). I felt bad for him because he was obviously sick and too small (or fat) to jump off the bed in order to crap on the carper – that’s better I promise you. I woke up in a blind stupor an accidentally put my hand down in it. Just horrible. That kind of shit happens (you have to read that line imagining I have some sort of smug smile as I deliver that semi-obvious pun).

One of the worst problems is that I couldn’t find a dry cleaner in all of Houston open on a Sunday. Seriously people (I’m including everyone here, Chickfila, El Gallo, etc.), let’s stop with the closed Sunday thing. Go to church and then get your lazy ass back to work. Also, how can that be good for business when you are closed 1/7 of the year!?! Literally, 52 days of business that you are choosing not to make money. Can you all be making so much money that you don’t need more? Sunday is one of the good days of the week, too – almost everyone is off! You could be making more money, Service Industry. Geez.

Anyhow, back to the story, I had to clean the dog poop off by hand and leave it in the laundry room for the rest of the day. The thought of this sickens me, and I have drive heaved several times today as a result. After that morning’s fiasco, Earl, my pug, was acting weird and skittish, like one would expect from a sick dog. Well, he had poop – cliffhangers, as my friend, Paul, calls them – still stuck to his fur, so I had to give him a bath. Earl, who is fat like a pig, also shares the “hard to catch” trait of a pig. He runs around snorting, changing directions, and hiding under things, while I lumber slowly after him. I eventually tricked him with a treat – the fat dog’s hypnotic.

After all of that, I watched Shawshank Redemption on AMC all the while trying to muster up the strength to go to the grocery store. I finally got out of bed, got ready, and sat down in my car, and I noticed that I tracked dog crap onto my car’s floor carpet. I stepped in the very dog poo that I cleaned off the comforter earlier. Sigh.

Finally, after I cleaned my car and shoes, I went to the store and bought many delicious items, like meatballs for meatball sandwiches, Red Diamond Sweet Tea, and ice cream sandwiches. This all lead to the high point of my day: eating hot dogs for dinner.

I also bought some Tylnol PM so I can get out of this day as soon as possible.


  1. Poor poopy pups! What a day! And I completely agree with you, Sunday should not be a day when things are closed, that is the day for running errands. Here, everything is closed on Sundays, everything. What do they think it is, a day of rest?! Psshhh, get out of bed and serve me. Thanks :)

  2. Oh, your poor puppy! First he gets sick, then you try to make him take a bath! What a horrible experience for him. I hope he feels better!

    And for you. My dog got sick on the bed, once. Actually, it was Padawan's pillow and that was easily taken care of. Your situation was much worse.

    Where I work is closed on Sundays for two reason: everybody gigs on Saturdays and as a result are probably too hungover to work the next day, and because most of our customers are also hung over on Sundays because they also gigged the night before and don't want to shop. We do open for about ten Sundays a year, for Christmas and Band Season, and we all get lots of overtime for it.

  3. Truly one of the most horrible ways to wake up in the morning. Although I give you points for going back to bed to watch a movie. When something like that would happen to me in bed, after cleanup detail... it would be me and couch.

  4. Hahahaha I'm sorry buuuut...I had to laugh! I think the funniest part was you complaining about businesses being closed on Sundays. Do you not like that in general or was it just because you were having a crappy day?
    However, I am sorry that you had a crappy day. Literally. Hopefully next Sunday will prove to be much better.

  5. Ack! This reminded me of when my cat shat on my pillow because I neglected to ask him if I could switch litter brands!

    By the way...there's a little somethin' somethin' for ya over at my blog!

  6. Of all the posts about animals that DON'T make me want to ever have pets, this one wins! My wife keeps telling me I'll give in when my son asks for a dog in a couple of years. I'll just show her this post. Thanks Johnny.
    It Just Got Interesting

  7. You dry-heaved,... as in heaved, but nothing wet came up.

  8. Something similar happened to my brother once. Only it was his roommate's dog and it crapped in my brother's bed because its owner was too busy with his girlfriend to take the poor dog outside. I happened to call my brother right after it happened and he told me he was trying to avoid talking to his roommate because he was afraid he might punch him. Personally I think the guy could have used a beating or two. My brother moved out not long after.

  9. Ughhhhh I feel your pain! I have a shih-poo who doesn't "ask" to go outside like other dogs. She doesn't stand by the door or cry. You just have to guess when she needs to go otherwise she'll let it loose in the dining room. Also she eats her poop. There's nothing worse than coming across a half a turd. And my cat pees in the tub constantly. You definitely have me beat though- with the poop bed. I would've cried. I would've just sat there and cried.

  10. I do NOT envy your shitty day my friend. Note to self - kick dog out of bed.