Thursday, March 31, 2011

Random Day!

I do not know a whole lot of internet slang or acronyms. I’ve looked up what meme is at least five times. The acronym that always tricks me is “lmao.” I always think it’s a capital I and then try to figure out what it could mean. Itching my ass off. Icing my ass off. Imitating my ass off.
Then I think, why would the I be capitalized while the rest are lowercase. Oh yeah, a lowercase l is the same as an uppercase I.
Email from my wife this morning (slightly edited):
Morning, Jutah!

Fyi, my paycheck did go in last night.  So you can pull out your spending money whenever you want.  That Whataburger should have been part of your spending money, buddy. ;)

I’m a stalker….

Love you.
(I went to Whataburger at 8:30, and this email came at 8:54, before I returned.)
I finally got my boots yesterday, and I couldn’t be prouder. Now all I need is some cut off jean shorts, a paisley kerchief to tie around my neck, and a mai tai with an umbrella, and I’ll be ready to go!
My wife and I have had pasta for almost every meal for last 2 weeks. She’s Italian and I feel like she’s really perpetuating stereotypes here. Well, what about perpetuating the stereotypes of my heritage? I’m… er… American. We need more American food in our diet. For example, did you know the first Americans ate fried chicken, hot dogs, and Freebirds. It’s history – look it up.
Before I go to bed every night, literally as I am about to go into shut down mode, I have this vision of myself hitting a homerun. This is odd because I never played baseball in my life. Furthermore, I throw like a Carl Lewis. Look it up on youtube.
That’s all for today. I hope everyone has a nice weekend. My wife is going out of town and I can feel the paranoia building.


  1. What's a jutah?

  2. Well as long as you don't sing like Carl Lewis, then I think you are ok. Quit making me crave Whataburger! Oh, and with the boots, you deffo need a bolo tie. Nothing says country classy like two limp stings hanging from your neck!

  3. I don't really know any internet slang either. Although I'm fifteen and SUPPOSED to have "LOLS" dotting my conversations, the only ones I actually get is "brb," "lmao," "ttyl," etc.

    I mean, dude, does anyone even know what "twss" means? That's just...weird.

  4. "TWSS" is "That's what she said." And it's so much funnier when you say it properly instead of abbreviating.

    Your wife is still funny.

    Fried Chicken is good for you. Did you know that? It makes you blissfully happy when you eat it, and that means you have a better quality of life. It's a fact.

  5. mmmm..... freebirds are delicious when served with hot sauce. awesome post!