Random Notes V

Hey! I’m back. I don’t know where I went, but apparently, it wasn’t blogging. My normal routine is to post Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday, and I have failed miserably lately. I’m going to try to get back on track, and I think I’m going to have a bit of success because I’m on Spring Break. I’m going to post some random stuff today. Here is some music to play as you read:

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This is an homage to a colleague and friend who is leaving the teaching profession and moving on to greener pastures. One of the best bits of wisdom he passed my way was this: one’s level of intelligence is directly correlated to one’s natural walking speed. If he or she walks fast, he or she generally has places to be and people to see. They need to get here to accomplish this goal and walk there to accomplish that goal. People who walk slowly have no goals and nothing to accomplish. They might get there late or they might not even get there at all – they don’t really care and neither does anyone else.

I feel like this rule makes complete sense and is almost always dead on (excluding the handicapped and elderly). If you have a kid that walks slowly, you need to yell out to him or her, “Hey! Pick up your speedy, dopey!”

And…

“Yes, I’ll tie your shoe – just come here!”

“Your fly is down, too!”

“You shirt is sticking out of your open fly!”

Things like that.

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I want to buy boots – cowboy boots. I feel totally stupid for wanting boots but I do. My brother-in-law grew up on a real farm with crops, tractors, cows, and even hay. I jokingly asked him about it at the Hayes Carll concert last weekend and he scoffed (well, he doesn’t scoff; he just kind of agreed with me) at all of the posers wearing boots. I cried a little in my mind. Regardless, I am resolute. I will get boots! I feel like while I am totally a poser – I don’t farm, rustle cows, or even work with my hands – I am from Texas. That’s good enough, right? I have a stereotype to fulfill.

I’ll just wear them around strangers.

Here’s what I’m thinking about purchasing:

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Things I really, really, really dislike:

Ok, Lady Gaga, time’s up. I know you think you have more time, but no, sweetie, you gotta get off the stage – same for you Glee. It was a good run but you’re getting to be just annoying and not interesting. We get it you're different. Actually, you were different – now both of you are the norm. We are no longer shocked.

Teen Mom and Pregnant and 16, you are both horrible. I can’t fathom how people like you. You’re just horrible, did I already say that? I get squeamish when I see commercials for you.

Charlie Sheen, I feel sorry for you. You’re a mess and are self-destructing. You need to step to the side. I’m looking at the people who quote him. I’ve heard winner a million times this week. People, don’t quote him. I know it’s tough. You’re the same people who incessantly quoted Dave Chappelle as Lil Jon’s “Yeaaaaaaaaah,” Borat’s “Very nice,” and Jim Carrey’s, “Allllllllrighty, then.” I know it’s tough to have your own personality but give it a try; I think you’ll find that people like you for you.