Friday, March 11, 2011

Random Notes V

Hey! I’m back. I don’t know where I went, but apparently, it wasn’t blogging. My normal routine is to post Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday, and I have failed miserably lately. I’m going to try to get back on track, and I think I’m going to have a bit of success because I’m on Spring Break. I’m going to post some random stuff today. Here is some music to play as you read:

This is an homage to a colleague and friend who is leaving the teaching profession and moving on to greener pastures. One of the best bits of wisdom he passed my way was this: one’s level of intelligence is directly correlated to one’s natural walking speed. If he or she walks fast, he or she generally has places to be and people to see. They need to get here to accomplish this goal and walk there to accomplish that goal. People who walk slowly have no goals and nothing to accomplish. They might get there late or they might not even get there at all – they don’t really care and neither does anyone else.

I feel like this rule makes complete sense and is almost always dead on (excluding the handicapped and elderly). If you have a kid that walks slowly, you need to yell out to him or her, “Hey! Pick up your speedy, dopey!”


“Yes, I’ll tie your shoe – just come here!”

“Your fly is down, too!”

“You shirt is sticking out of your open fly!”

Things like that.

I want to buy boots – cowboy boots. I feel totally stupid for wanting boots but I do. My brother-in-law grew up on a real farm with crops, tractors, cows, and even hay. I jokingly asked him about it at the Hayes Carll concert last weekend and he scoffed (well, he doesn’t scoff; he just kind of agreed with me) at all of the posers wearing boots. I cried a little in my mind. Regardless, I am resolute. I will get boots! I feel like while I am totally a poser – I don’t farm, rustle cows, or even work with my hands – I am from Texas. That’s good enough, right? I have a stereotype to fulfill.

I’ll just wear them around strangers.

Here’s what I’m thinking about purchasing:

Things I really, really, really dislike:

Ok, Lady Gaga, time’s up. I know you think you have more time, but no, sweetie, you gotta get off the stage – same for you Glee. It was a good run but you’re getting to be just annoying and not interesting. We get it you're different. Actually, you were different – now both of you are the norm. We are no longer shocked.

Teen Mom and Pregnant and 16, you are both horrible. I can’t fathom how people like you. You’re just horrible, did I already say that? I get squeamish when I see commercials for you.

Charlie Sheen, I feel sorry for you. You’re a mess and are self-destructing. You need to step to the side. I’m looking at the people who quote him. I’ve heard winner a million times this week. People, don’t quote him. I know it’s tough. You’re the same people who incessantly quoted Dave Chappelle as Lil Jon’s “Yeaaaaaaaaah,” Borat’s “Very nice,” and Jim Carrey’s, “Allllllllrighty, then.” I know it’s tough to have your own personality but give it a try; I think you’ll find that people like you for you.


  1. Awesome.

    You can get away w/'re a Texan. And you will wear them a lot more than you think!

  2. Those are some sexy boots ther' cowboy! (this is said in my best Texas drawl)

    Oh...& welcome back!

  3. Totally agree about the slow walkers. So many students wander around the halls at school as if they didn't have anywhere to be, when in fact they only have about 30 seconds to get to the place they actually are required to be. They don't care.

    Can't stand Gaga. Used to watch Glee, but stopped after the fifth very special episode last fall. Teen Mom is just scary for a teacher. And I haven't cared about Sheen since Hot Shots.

    Actually. I am so in tune with you on all of this, Johnny, it's uncanny. Except the boots.
    It Just Got Interesting

  4. dude, i totally want some boots too... -Josh

  5. LOVE the song....even if it is names Beaumont, haha. I will have to check into this guy for sure. I am so out of the loop for Texas country. Blech.
    Hope you are having a good time on Spring Break. Did you totally make it down to Galveston for some beer bongs on the beach. Come on, don't lie, we all know you did, haha.
    Agreed with Lady Gaga, was never a fan. And I about died laughing on your comment on 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom. I kid you not, my husband cannot watch that show and eat. He says it grosses him out waaay too much. I agree.
    Enjoy your time away from bloggyland!
    Oh, and those boots. Great style, but totally not your color...

  6. I don't agree about the walking. I walk fast most of the time, but sometimes I leave early so I can walk slower. I like to pick flowers while I'm walking to work, listen to the mocking birds, pet the stray cats that live in the field on my way to work. If you move too fast you miss a lot of pretty things. What's the point of living if you're going too fast to enjoy it?

    I don't think you can actually walk in those boots...I couldn't even walk in those boots. Look at those skinny spiked heels! You'd break an ankle.

    Lady Gaga is horrifying. Am I the only person that shudders every time I look at her picture?

    Glee...I've never seen it. But I know they did a Lady Gaga episode and just for that I hate it.

    When you mention Charlie Sheen I just go right back to the battle to death idea between him and Kanye West.

    And you should totally have added Kanye West to this list.

  7. I want your boots. Partly because I myself need some good boots, partly because I'm not sure those boots are right for you...go ahead and give it a try though. Just be sure to let us know how it works out for you!