Sunday, September 5, 2010

It Must Suck to be a Teen

It must suck to be a teenager growing up right now. Well, in terms of the music that is available to them these days, it must suck to be a teenager growing up right now. I’m going to sound like an old man here but music that is being produced right now is horrible. Get off my lawn, too!

The one and single greatest advantage this generation has is access. Downloading music makes accessibility so much easier. When I was a kid, we would have to go to Sam Goody and hope the new CD you were buying had at least 3 good songs. Kids now can listen to their music ahead of time and decide if buying that particular CD is a purchase they want to make. I know you know this; bare with me.

Most teenagers listen to what’s popular in their time. Most teenagers don’t go back and listen to classic rock or rap or whatever, and if they do, it’s to give of the appearance of being wiser than their peers. Like, oh, you’re still listening too Avenged Sevenfold? I’ve moved on pass that. I’m getting to the roots of it all. They’re just being pretentious, but they just know what that is yet. What in the world would a 16 year old care about what Bob Dylan had to say in the 70’s? I’m 30 and I don’t really care. Before I begin my stereotyping, let me say that there are a few kids here or there that legitimately listen to new, interesting bands and have good taste. They just have to work hard. We are in a bad place in terms of the Music Cycle.

Here’s a chart:
All other teenagers are listening to the worst music available to them. Seinfeld voice: what is the deal with all of the rappers with robot voices? Seriously, auto-tune might be one of the worst fads in music – ever. I blame Cher for this. I can imagine a bunch of rappers/R&B singers on their way to see Guys and Dolls listening to “Believe” and having the epiphany of a lifetime.

Radio stations are also to blame. The mainstream rock station here is playing songs from when I was in high school. Some of the songs they play are 16, 17, even 18 years old. That would be like a station in 1994 calling itself the source to get modern rock and jamming the Bee Gees. This might be a Houston problem, but I can imagine there are many other places like this. Just checked, they are playing Papa Roach right now. Geez, that’s embarrassing.

The actual “modern” rock played on the radio station is just pathetic and uncreative. I dare you to name one good rock band that isn’t an indie band. Go ahead. I bet you can’t think of any. It’s because there aren’t any. All you hear are bands with a lead singer doing his best Eddie Vedder impersonation (maybe with a little more rasp). They’re probably wearing all black, sporting a reverse mullet, and have nothing interesting to say or sing about.

If you’re a kid right now, you have the robot voice station, varying levels of dinosaur rock, and gruffy voiced guy trying to sound tough but not really willing to go into the metal arena. That’s a tad TOO tough. Are you depressed now high school kid? Your music is vapid and pointless. Maybe this will cause you to create better music so this part of the cycle can end.

I didn’t mention country music because there are no high points. Just all low points.

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