Sunday, September 26, 2010

Pregnant Ladies

At work on Friday, I had to go to this lady’s office to pick up some paperwork that I needed. When I walked in, there were two other ladies in the office with her. They were just hanging out and working. Two of them I know pretty well and the other I should know but don’t. Let me preface this by saying that working in a school is weird in that there is quite a bit of turnover. I’ve taught at the same place for 7 years and I am the fourth most senior person in my department of 30 people. I basically only take the trouble of getting to know the people who have either been there for 3 years or more or with whom I directly work. One of the ladies in this office is an ESL (English as a Second Language) specialist whom I work with often. The second lady is the wife of the person I’ve known the longest at work. Her husband and I started our teaching careers at the same time; we work in the same office and are about the same age. I’m close enough to them that I went to some of their wedding festivities. The third lady is – someone. I know I should know her. She’s blonde and tall. She’s the tall, blonde lady. She has really straight teeth, too. I have absolutely no idea what her name is. It could be Jennifer or Shaniqua – both would be a surprise to me.
I try not to use names in my blog but this will get confusing really quickly if I don’t. This is what I will call them: ESL, Friend, and the Blonde Question. ESL is super nice and chatty, though I’m not quite sure what her job entails. All I know is that she is the one who nags me when I need to pick up paperwork. Friend is about 8 months pregnant and very obviously 8 months pregnant. I’m not the chattiest guy in the world. Don’t get me wrong, I can talk with the best of them, but I’m not good at making chit-chat. I don’t know if I have ADD or if I’m just a jerk, but I have trouble focusing on people’s conversations with me. I tend to just look that them and think about one thing (Geez, the dimple in her nose is so defined. It looks like someone jammed their thumbnail into the tip of her nose, etc.). I just shake my head politely and say, uh-huh.
I had this type of conversation with ESL (Geez, her hair is so long. I wonder how long it takes to dry it. Why would you have your hair that long if it’s such a hassle? It’s so black, too. There is no way it’s that black. She must be hiding something, etc.). I turn the conversation to Friend and here is the transcript as far as I remember it – mind you, ESL and Blonde Question are part of this, too.
Me: You’re due soon, huh?
Friend: Yeah, it should be within the next month.
Me: Huh.
Friend: Yeah, Husband and I are… (something or other).
Me (starting to think about how weird it would be to gain 30 lbs in a few months like a preggo)
Me (noticing she finished talking and isn’t looking at me like she asked a question): Do y’all have the nursery set up?
Friend: Yeah, Husband painted this room… (something or other).
ESL: There are so many babies coming so soon. It’s so exciting!
Me (Yeah, at any given time 4 teachers are pregs at my school)
Me (head tilted, eyebrows furrowed inquisitively): Who else besides Friend?
BQ (eyebrows furrowed like you idiot): I’m pregnant too.
Me (blindly stupid): No way. When are you due?
BQ: Any day now.
Me (bobbing my head, hands in my pockets, twisting my foot around): Ah. Well that’s awesome.

Is that really insulting that I didn’t know this lady was pregnant? She is a really tall lady (like 5’10”!); it’s more spread out through her body. The baby was laying long ways too I bet! I feel bad about this, and hopefully, she just thinks I am idiot and nothing about herself.

P.S. I was listening to Ratatat, DeadMau5, and Muddy Waters while writing this. Very strange mood.


  1. I bet she was wearing a baggy sweater, too.

  2. HAHAHAHA! It's better to think they aren't preggers than to think they are and say something and they're not, believe me- I've done that before and I was all "oh" and would just turn and run. That's how socialized I am amongst chatty women.

  3. That's true. I think everyone knows someone who has asked a lady when she is due and - BAM - she just had a big lunch.