If you’ve read my blog before, you know that I am quite the fast food connoisseur. Being as experienced as I am, I have noticed quite an annoying trend at these establishments over the years. There is no standard size variation. There is no longer just a small, medium, and large. Some places have extra large now, while some use their special name to indicate the size (i.e. Whatasize or a Biggie Drink). This is annoying because I have to look at the menu to figure out what size I want. I can’t just say large because that might not be the largest. I just point like an infant who can’t read and indicate the one I want. The problem isn’t feeling like the name of the size is arbitrary like Paul Rudd’s character rants about in Role Models; the problem is the extra hidden size (or medium is the smallest or large isn’t the largest). It’s frustrating and I hope Bill Wendy’s, Juan T. Bell, and Dick Whataburger are reading this!
So here’s what makes me feel stupid. When I get my drink, I have trouble figuring out the accurate sized lid to put on my drink. I always stand there carefully trying to figure out which one matches the top of my container. I feel like Indiana Jones in The Last Crusade trying to pick Jesus’ cup, hoping I won’t wither and die in a matter of seconds for choosing incorrectly. I really think hard before I select. Don’t blow it. Don’t blow it. Don’t blow it. Bam, blew it! This ALWAYS happens. I get a lid, see that it doesn’t fit, and throw it away. Who wants a lid with someone else’s Coke residue already on it?
This reminds me of the toys that involve putting a peg through a hole. I guess I was the kid who put the square peg in the round hole.