Sunday, October 31, 2010

New and Improved

My wife had a little intervention with me the other day. She decided the time had come to tell me my blog looks like crap. I’m kind of a sloppy guy and have reverse OCD. Where normal people have a desire for uniformity, I don’t. When I was a kid, I wore socks that didn’t match sometimes, and I never thought much of it. I also wore them wrong. You’re probably wondering how one wears socks wrong. Three words: heel on top. The problem fixed itself when I discovered girls, and apparently, girls don’t like guys whose clothes don’t match, have a shirt wiener sticking out of their pants, or wear their shirt inside out.

Well, my blog was starting to drive her crazy because of all the incongruities (i.e. different font styles, different spacing, and different break lengths between paragraphs). She even volunteered to fix these issues herself. What a sweetheart! Well, I worked my tail off, and hopefully, you noticed all of those improvements I made.

She also told me it was ugly and hard to read. Whoa, whoa, whoa lady! Ugly is a bit harsh! After pouting for a bit, I started working on making my blog more appealing. I spent about 6 hours making all the changes you see before you. I’m a man of the people, and if 50% of my viewership wants change, it shall be done.

I thought it was hilarious that my tags were all nonsense. While The and Man are fantastic tags, they don’t really help. I actually made real tags so my entries are easily accessible. Who would have thought that a user friendly site was an attainable goal? Not me! Well, mission accomplished.

I did this for the loyal readers. You people in Russia looking at my site this is for you. My peeps coming from Life’s Highway and Fetch My Flying Monkeys I did this for you. To the Brits and Canadians who are reading, I was thinking of you when I painstakingly fixed every tag. No, no, no, I’m not a hero – just a lazy guy who put in a small amount of effort and is acting like he singlehandedly carved Mt. Rushmore.

P.S. She doesn’t want me to write about fast food anymore. I tried to tell her that fast food is a cherished part of American culture and I’d be turning my back on my people, but she didn’t buy it. She’s hard to outwit.


  1. I had a McDonald's shake yesterday. They offer whipped cream and cherry now. I declined.

    That is all.

  2. I don't know... it looks a little too neat and tidy around here. Like no one lives here. Where is the evidence of your frustration building?, hmmm.

    Fast Food, stays.

  3. To Nate-

    I guess fast food shall stay. It's win-win!

  4. To Josh-

    You chose poorly. Methinks I might need one of those.

  5. To Life's Highway-

    The frustration dam broke! Too bad it was my wife's dam.

    Looks like fast food wins!