You might wonder, does this guy just post anything that he thinks of with complete disregard to whether or not it’s actually funny. Yes – most of time. While I do have quite a few posts that miss the humor mark, I have written some entries and not posted them for some reason or another. This week will be a salute to my posts that were gross, morbid, too serious, or just not funny. I’ll post one every day and we can all share in the eye rolling.
This one is toilet humor (pun intended), so if you think you’ll think less of me for writing posts about going to the restroom, STOP reading now. I think it’s funny though.
If you’ve been reading my blog, you know that the last movie I saw was Paranormal Activity 2. Go to youtube to watch if you don't know anything about it. I don't want to have to look at even one more image of that bastard!
Paranormal Activity 2 – deleted scene (Date written: 10/31. Spooky)
Father hunched over with his elbows resting on his knees, sitting on the toilet. He is blankly staring at the floor focused on what he’s doing. The shower curtain is closed and 3 feet in front of him. Footage coming from a camera located near the ceiling to his right side and slightly behind him. The camera is set on him for 30 seconds or so.
The curtain jerks a little as if someone jabbed it with a finger from the inside of the shower.
Father doesn’t notice.
The curtain jerks again but twice this time.
Father lifts his head from hearing the noise but isn’t startled yet.
The curtain jerks frantically.
The father begins to panic, reaches for the toilet paper, and tears some off.
The curtain is moving all over the place even moving out horizontally.
Obviously scared, the father’s first cleaning attempt is successful but incomplete.
Things begin flying around the room. A shampoo bottle hits his head.
Annoyed, the second cleaning attempt is again incomplete.
Something invisible begins pulling on his leg.
Frightened yet relieved, the third cleaning attempt completes the process.
The father gets up and pulls his pants up while blood begins dripping from the ceiling and Satan appears in the mirror holding a pitchfork saying menacing phrases in an indecipherable language.
Father quickly yet thoroughly begins washing his hands.
A vortex opens in the bath and begins sucking loose objects into it while pain induced moans fill the room.