Friday, December 31, 2010

Random Notes

1.    I’ve been on my couch most of the day watching International House Hunters on HGTV for reasons I can’t explain. My wife put it on and for some reason I got hooked. Through the window, I noticed some new people moving in across the street. As I ate pizza on the couch, I thought, being a mover must be the crappiest job ever. Moving stuff sucks. I’d rather sell oranges on the side of the road than be a mover. Also, who moves on New Year’s Eve?

2.    By the way, HGTV only has like 3 different commercials that aren’t HGTV commercials for other shows. Here are the three products: a Trojan women’s massage thing, pet breath spray, and pajama jeans. Hmmm… they’ve got their market pretty much narrowed down, huh? Single lady cat owners who have no shot at being with a man that would prefer to wear comfortable stretchy pants instead of real clothes.

3.    I was thinking of names I would name a boy if I ever had a kid. For some reason the name Franklin came to mind. How come no one ever names their kid Franklin anymore? It’s not like one of those names that have officially been retired, like Adolf. I bet there are some German’s who would love to use that name again, but, alas, it can never be. I always wanted to name my first born O.J. Simpson but I guess I can’t anymore.

4.    We had some drinks with friends last night, and my sister-in-law made a joke about forgetting to brush her teeth sometimes before work. I thought it was funny but she kind of got some uncomfortable snickers and look-aways from some of the people at the table. I tried to jump in and save her by saying that I forget to wear deodorant all the time. That got less snickers and more look-aways. We both felt stupid.

5.    The Incredible Hulk is the worst comic book character ever. I’ve wanted to write that for some time. So he’s super strong, right? Well, shouldn’t all of the magical and mind controlling characters be able to do whatever that want with him? Whenever that happens, the writers go, nah-ah! His mind’s so strong it can fight people out of his mind.

 I hate the Hulk so much.

6.    My New Year’s resolution is to be less bitter and jealous of other bloggers. There is a blog that is probably the biggest humor blog out there that is not funny at all to me (no, I’m not talking about your blog. Your blog isn’t the biggest blog!). I always read it and never laugh. It makes me think there is something wrong with me because I don’t think it’s funny and everyone else does. I will no longer be bitter or jealous of it – even if it is awful. Just awful.


  1. I would have jumped in and saved you both by telling a story of how I accidentally brushed my teeth with deoderant. And quit slamming my blog! :)
    Funny Stuff I Write
    PS I also saw the stretchy pajama jeans and had to laugh. I admit I love HGTV.

  2. Don't you think Superman is worse than the Hulk? I mean, what's more boring than a superhero without any weird character flaws?

  3. To Charlie-

    Deodorant in the mouth is pretty bad! I guess there could be worse things: forgetting pants, for example.

    It's nice to know another guy watches HGTV.

  4. To Christie-

    I never had a problem with Superman for some reason. I like when he struggles against things he can't control (i.e. time, not being able to be every where at one time) or when he makes an incorrect decision about right and wrong. I think he can be characterized really well if put in the right hands. In one of the Superman movies, he makes the Earth spin in the opposite direction to save Lois - horrible. In the Incredible Hulk, the people of Earth fling him at an asteroid to prevent it from destroying the planet - worse!

  5. So given your hatred of the hulk, did my Bruce Banner comment on your arm hickey blog annoy you?:-)

    I still think Superman is boring. Though, honestly, I never really got the hulk either.

  6. To Christie-

    Bruce Banner is okay; I just hate the Hulk and his stupid face!

    Superman is boring. Pretty much all I'm-completely-unstoppable heroes are boring. My thing is there are some good Superman stories (an easy to digest one is the episode of Justice League Unlimited where he fights Captain Marvel - if Greg doesn't have it, I'll give it to Mark to give to you -- it's awesome). Anyways, I've never read a good Hulk story. He gets mad, he breaks stuff, he learns.

  7. Stretchy pajama jeans?

    And I though Snuggies were bad enough...

    As for movers: their job doesn't pay too badly, but it does take a physical toll.

    (Happy New Year!)

    -Barb the French Bean

  8. You hate the Hulk? Who knew. I guess you tore the head off of the one I gave you. I think he at least "looks" cool, so green.

  9. To DA-

    I didn't always dislike the Hulk. It's more if a recent thing, and I didn't tear the head off the one I have. It's in the closet where Wife puts most of my comic book stuff.

  10. I always hated the Green Latern. What a complete waste of a superhuman. I am a superman fan all the way. The franchise got down to supergirl, superboy, superdog and my favorite superhorse. They did great marketing for girls.

    Of course I am dying to know which very popular blog is not funny. Since mine is not very popular I feel safe from your wrath.

  11. I think Greg must have what you're talking about since he acted like he didn't know what I could be talking about.

    Also - I think you meant to say the hulk and his stupid ass-face. :-)

  12. As an aside, one time I heard Greg reading the Hulk to Xavier. When he was doing the Hulk's voice, I thought he was imitating his dad. He uses the exact same voice for both.

  13. To Life's Highway-

    I gave you as specific shout on on my last picture!

    I'll just say it - Hyperbole and a Half. I don't really think the blog itself is bad - in fact, I would argue that it's what got me started blogging. Some of her earlier posts are fantastic, but I just get annoyed reading the comments on her blog that say things like, "I spit my milk out I was laughing so hard!" I don't know. It's just frustrating. But, alas, I won't be jealous or bitter!

  14. To Christie-

    He is a stupid ass-face - that sounds so much better and right.

    I could imagine the Hulky Huq voice. I can imagine it saying, "Mark, quitting eating those tater tots. You're a fat boy."

  15. Green Lantern is my favorite superhero! I don't think he's a waste at all, in fact I would argue that the story and culture developed behind it is more in depth and fascinating than most other superheroes!

    So there.

    Also yeah, the Hulk is kind of an emo brat.