Sunday, December 26, 2010

Weight Control Problem VII

It is official: I’m addicted to fast food. Well, I’m not addicted, but I really, really like fast food. I’m not a get-a-double-quarter-pounder-and-eat-it-on-the-toilet-so-my-wife-won’t-see type of addict. However, one time, I went to Wendy’s on the way home from work and ate a full meal. Two hours later, I went out to eat with my wife and ate again so I wouldn’t have to admit to her that I already ate some fast food that day. I deliberately didn’t watch or learn anything about Super Size Me or Fast Food Nation when they came out because I wasn’t ready to end my love affair with fast food. Sadly for me, times have changed. When I was younger, going to the buffet at Long John Silver’s was cute (right?). It didn’t matter because I would go lift weights for 2 hours or play basketball for four hours. Now, I’m lucky if I can lift and run for an hour. Well, I’m getting to fat. My clothes are too tight, and I’ve gotten to the point when I suck in my belly, it only upgrades from hamburger eating contest winner to French fry eating contest winner. My fingers are getting too chubby to even type. Most of my sentences end up looking like this: I casn’t dop thisd anmynmore. Youi don’ty knopw hjow freustyartiing iot is tyo go bafck anjd haweve tro rethwrite evfbgerything conssdtantly.

In all honesty, somewhere in my mind there has always been this feeling of guilt with eating fast food. It makes me feel like a fat, disgusting bastard, like I have ketchup and horseradish stains on my shirt, crumbs in the corners of my lips and French fry grease in my hair. It’s time for me to embrace those feelings and become disgusted with myself! No longer will I eat fast food twice in one day! No more will I order extra food so I can eat it on the way home! No more will I get annoyed and sarcastic when the person behind the counter asks if I want to up size my combo! I will order the small diet soda instead of opting for the jumbo chocolate milkshake! No more will I stop off for a pre-meal snack! And, I will… (Gulp)… cook food at home… food that’s… good for me. Just writing this is making my heart beat faster. I wonder if that is because of the cholesterol clogging my veins or the excitement of my new found fervor – only time will tell!

Just to let you know, I am hovering around 248 right now. To put that in perspective, Ray Lewis of the Baltimore Ravens is my weight and height. I am no Ray Lewis.

 I’m starting to lean more towards Adam Richman from Man vs. Food.

I’m not going to turn this into a weight loss blog because that’s not what I want to do. Gaining weight : funny :: losing weight : not funny. Uh, does anyone know where Haratio Sanz is now that he lost weight? Anyways, I’m just getting this out there for myself. I will start a new page of my blog that will have brief weight and exercise updates. At the very least, it will be a journal for me (almost wrote diary… tee-hee!).


  1. You DID NOT just say tee-hee.

    Take this one baby step at a time. For me my first phase of removing my addiction to fast food is letting the fries go... just let them go.

    You can do it... don't say tee-hee.

  2. To Life's Highway-

    No joke, when I read that, I thought, that is sooo outside of the box! No French fries? What a thought. I'll try that.

    Uh, tee-hee works in context.

  3. Teehee definitely works in context.

    Best of luck in your endeavors! I too am constantly battling food. Oh, food. So Delicious. So evil.