In my classroom, there is spot on the wall where someone’s hair grease left a mark. There is a dark, gross smudge where someone probably rested their head for an entire semester. Here is a picture:
Is this not the grossest thing you’ve ever seen? I feel like if I were this person, I would have noticed that this spot was forming and done something about it. They did not. This spot emerged from some magical place 2 years ago but was tamed and imprisoned (a la one of the Titans from Greek Mythology). Well actually, as a responsible adult, I patiently waited for the year to end and put a Lou Gehrig poster over it.
Well, it brought reinforcements and this time: it’s personal.
I share an office with some other coaches at my school. In our office, we have a couple mini-fridges, a microwave, and a couch. The couch is great if you want to take a load off and relax for a second or two before or after practice – well, it used to be. Some coach has been coming in there to take a nap before his practice starts later on in the day. Don’t look so concerned; this is a common thing. Coaches are constantly at school. Regardless, there is a hair grease spot on the arm of our whitish, grayish couch now. It is grosser than the other spot. If I ever want to lie down, I have to put wrap on it like I’m on a damn toilet. I literally caught myself laying toilet paper down on the arm because I didn’t want it to touch my head. I can’t use the other arm of the couch because it ends right where the office door opens, and getting my head smashed in the door is slightly worse.
What’s wrong with these people? First off, why do they leave noticeable head residue on walls and couches like Slimmer from Ghostbusters? My hair doesn’t do that. My wife’s hair doesn’t do that. My pug, Earl, who gets a bath like every 2 weeks doesn’t do that! People, if we aren’t going to wash our hair then we need to not rest it on things – things that I might touch.
I’m still sick. I think people like short posts anyways.