Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Hair Smudge

In my classroom, there is spot on the wall where someone’s hair grease left a mark. There is a dark, gross smudge where someone probably rested their head for an entire semester. Here is a picture:

Is this not the grossest thing you’ve ever seen? I feel like if I were this person, I would have noticed that this spot was forming and done something about it. They did not. This spot emerged from some magical place 2 years ago but was tamed and imprisoned (a la one of the Titans from Greek Mythology). Well actually, as a responsible adult, I patiently waited for the year to end and put a Lou Gehrig poster over it.

Well, it brought reinforcements and this time: it’s personal.

I share an office with some other coaches at my school. In our office, we have a couple mini-fridges, a microwave, and a couch. The couch is great if you want to take a load off and relax for a second or two before or after practice – well, it used to be. Some coach has been coming in there to take a nap before his practice starts later on in the day. Don’t look so concerned; this is a common thing. Coaches are constantly at school. Regardless, there is a hair grease spot on the arm of our whitish, grayish couch now. It is grosser than the other spot. If I ever want to lie down, I have to put wrap on it like I’m on a damn toilet. I literally caught myself laying toilet paper down on the arm because I didn’t want it to touch my head. I can’t use the other arm of the couch because it ends right where the office door opens, and getting my head smashed in the door is slightly worse.

What’s wrong with these people? First off, why do they leave noticeable head residue on walls and couches like Slimmer from Ghostbusters? My hair doesn’t do that. My wife’s hair doesn’t do that. My pug, Earl, who gets a bath like every 2 weeks doesn’t do that! People, if we aren’t going to wash our hair then we need to not rest it on things – things that I might touch.

I’m still sick. I think people like short posts anyways.


  1. That is disgusting. Does he maybe have a scalp condition? Either way, he should invest in a hat or a shower cap because that is grody to the tenth power squared.

    Ick. I feel like I need to take a shower now.

  2. Oh god, you about had my dinner come up there for a second when I saw that pic! Seriously, who would do such a thing?!? If you find them, beat them over the head with a bottle of shampoo!

  3. 1) I hate that coaches get couches to take naps on. I'm not a coach, I don't have a couch, but I could sure use a nap on my plan period just like all the coaches do!
    2) Grease spots are a nasty occurrence. I have found though that they usually come from too much hair product rather than a lack of washing. It's still gross though that these people don't even notice the residue they leave behind. Maybe they think it's normal...

  4. Groooooooooooooooosssssssss!

    I'm going to go wash my hair now.

    I'm pretty sure it was clean before reading this...but now I'm not so sure.

  5. My wife is a teacher and she had this awesome orange couch that we found at a thrift store. She loved it for naps and as a reward for good students. Then the school stole it because they decided it could spread lice. I miss that couch and I'm sure my wife misses it more.

    I hate grease stains. Have you ever been to someone's house and you see grease build up on doors and cupboards where their hands touch often. That grosses me out much more than some head grease. Their HANDS leaving brownish grey stuff behind! Clean your house people! Eeeww!

  6. I don't mean to be more grotty (or do I?), but I've had to clean much worse than grease stains off of the chairs in my classroom. Ick. Sorry.
    It Just Got Interesting

  7. Gross gross gross gross gross. That is sick. I mean, I guess I MIGHT expect it from a h.s. student, but from a grown adult, nas-tay. Haha, but I am laughing, so I guess thanks for sharing. Even if it did about make me want to spew my cookies

  8. Nasty. It's greasier than a McDonald's bag.

  9. To All-

    Yes. It is very gross. I cringe every day I see it.

  10. Ewwww. I've leaned on a window and left my forehead grease before.
    Ya. I went there. Forehead grease.

  11. Ick. Ick. Ick!!!

    Don't these people realize what is happening around them?

    -Barb the French Bean