Thursday, February 3, 2011


In my last year of college, I lived in a tiny apartment complex with most of my best friends.  My friend who had scabies was my next door neighbor, and the front door of his apartment was no more than six feet from mine. Luckily for us all, his scabies were a distant memory. Because that friend and I were the only people who woke up early on the weekends, I could count on the fact that he’d be available to hang out with at 8:00 a.m. I walked into his apartment and there he with legs propped up on his desk in his tightie whities, drinking a (probably) warm Dr. Pepper, playing EverQuest. As I began asking inane question after inane question about the game (“What’s your character’s name? How many dwarves have you killed this morning? Which one is your girlfriend?”), his annoyance with me grew to a boiling point. “You know, you’re probably nerdier than I am. Playing fantasy football is way gayer. You and [other friends] talk about it all the time and in public, no less. I might play this in my own house but that stuff permeates into your social life. And Golden Tee golf… that’s worse,” he said rolling his eyes.

This is the moment when I realized that I was really nerdy, too – just in different ways. I can’t tell you how many times my friends and I were at a party discussing fantasy sports while everyone else was inside having fun. I remember specifically sitting with my friend, Dickmar, outside a party trying to see who could name Major League Baseball relief pitchers for more teams. Everyone else was inside talking to girls and meeting people, and I was naming the order of the bullpen rotation for the 2001 Toronto Blue Jays. Fantasy sports took up so much of our time and was actually the cause of real arguments and fights. When I reflect back, it might be one of the dorkiest things in which I’ve ever partaken. I still do by the way.

Once, Dickmar and I were at a bar playing Golden Tee when two attractive girls came up and started talking to us. Basically, Dickmar and I switched off talking to them while the other took his turn rearing back and pounding the ball with all his might. The girls invited us to the bar to take a shot with them. We told them we just started and had 11 holes left. Sorry. Dickmar and I weren’t exactly swashbuckling ladies men, so these girls talking to us was a pretty isolated incident. Meeting girls, period, was amazing and having them come to us was astounding. Sadly for us, we blew it, and I’m sure we played another round even after that. They probably just wanted us to buy them a shot anyways – or at least I told myself that to prevent tears from forming.

This leads to where I am now. I’m happily married and comfortable in my own lameness. As I reflect upon my life, I realize that I was always in denial about the things I enjoyed doing but was ashamed to admit. I’m going to admit my dorky pleasures right here and now.

I have over 500 comic books and at least 100 graphic novels. 90% of what I watch is comic book cartoons. When people get into conversations about the last good book they read, I always interject with, “Have you read The Walking Dead or Invincible? Robert Kirkman is one of the best writers I’ve read in a long time. His ability to go into the depths of men’s psyches, where other writers are afraid or not allowed to, amazes me.”

“Well, uh, yeah, he DOES add words to pictures.”

 I was on my high school diving team. Yes, I wore a speedo and I did sloppy, subpar flips – I was never flexible enough to hold the pike position. I got 4th in my district and was extremely unsuccessful at the next level, regionals (in fact, I failed a dive and the meet official gave me a thumbs down to indicate I failed a dive like a Roman emperor giving the execute signal – that thumbs down would become the symbol of my diving career and the subject of much fun between my friends and I). My two friends and I who dove all separately felt ashamed about it in college, and while I wouldn’t ever bring it up in conversations, I would begrudgely admit it. Now, I proudly admit: I was a DIVER, and my speedo was extra small, too! My nungs – the part of one’s ass that hangs out when one wears Daisy Dukes, for example – hung out with pride.

I don’t know how to end this. Nerd is a term for high school kids, and it’s silly for a 30 year old to address it. Regardless, I’m doing things that I love, and I’m happy to do them. I’m sure there are other, countless nerdy things I do to this day that I don’t even know about, but I’m just curious: what’s the nerdiest thing about you? I don’t like ending blogs in questions because I desperately need the positive feedback to be my tiny, blogging ego and answering this question would detract from that. I will take one for the team – this time.


  1. It's important to be who you are, and if you're not happy with that person; just change yourself into the person you want to be :)

  2. To Zoe-

    Oh, you're a sweetheart. I'm still the same nerdy guy. I'm married to a beautiful wife who loves me for who I am. It's just one of things as I've gotten older I know feel ashamed for feeling ashamed. This post isn't meant to be depressing or sad - it's just silly.

  3. We share the same nerdiness, you and I, as I too enjoy a good Crown and Coke and I love Robert Kirkman. I wear the badge of 'nerd' proudly.


  4. I am such a huge dork. And SOO proud of it! I'm a huge do it yourself person, and I've taught myself html code for my work's website. I gave myself some pats on the back for that. Being a nerd is the new cool. Right???

  5. Great post! Those people who don't have a little bit of nerd in them (or a lot) are the douches in this world. So power to the nerds! I was in Orchestra in high school, so from an Orch Dork to a Diving Nerd, you are not alone :)

  6. It should go without saying that I am a big embarrassing geek-ette. I obsess about yard art for gosh sakes and I am a big Anime fan. (geez this is hard, it's like a support group for losers).

    Thanks for the nungs drawings, it gave me an idea for a new contest. Obviously divers don't shave like swimmers...they should.

  7. An anecdote that epitomizes my dorkiness: in 5th grade,the school made everyone who got first place in the science fair to come up on stage and pick their prize. I picked an aquarium and had to lug it around all day while people kept asking me why I picked the aquarium. I had some lie cooked up that I told (I don't remember what it was or why I was lying). It was actually so my parents would get me a guinea pig. I thought if I told them I already had the cage, they would have to get me one. Turns out guinea pigs don't live in aquariums.

  8. I don't own or read comic books, but I know that some are dang great writers. "The Lost Room" was one of my favorite miniseries on Syfy. Laura Harkcom and Christopher Leone wrote that and now they are going to continue the story in comics. I may start buying those.

    My nerdiness can be seen on my DVR. Syfy, science channel, discovery channel, big bang theory, eureka, random disaster shows, and anything on time travel, string theory, or alternate dimensions. I love being a nerd.
    Funny Stuff I Write

  9. Love my nerd! I wouldn't know anything about sports if it wasn't for you and your fantasy leagues.

    The most nerdy event in my life: I had to go to the Emergency Room because I seriously twisted my ankle, which I thought I broke at the time. When my mom asked me how it happened, I had to explain to her I was dancing in my bedroom. To Paula Abdul. By myself. I think I was 12.

    Our children have no chance.

    -Mrs. JU

  10. Nungs... is that real or did you make it up?

    Most Nerdy event? I think it's more a compilation. I suppose I would have to say it would be a tie between still owning and playing my super nintendo on a regular basis or that I've gone to Comic-con for the past eight years in a row.


  11. I read Robert Kirkman, Brian K. Vaughn, Brian Michael Bendis. I worship Joss Whedon and Aaron Sorkin. I watch the Lord of the Rings Trilogy again every Christmas.

    There's so much more. You've inspired me. I need to write my own blog about it.
    This Might Be Interesting

  12. Most nerdy? Hmmmm.... There are so many to choose from, and now that I'm forty, I continue to add to the list daily. Maybe lettering in Academics and joining the Math Club by choice. Perhaps, getting into the bathtub for a little something-something with a beautiful guy and then realizing I still had my glasses on. Or going to high school (in the eighties, mind you )on a cold day in my big, puffy, white coat that my mother had just bleached, only to look down and realize my dad's jock strap was hanging from the velcro. Could. Have. Died. Yep, I'm a dork and proud of it.

    Loved the nungs. I enjoy your writing. Makes nerds laugh.

  13. I just followed the link over here from Simple Dude and couldn't resist commenting when you left such a lovely invitation to confess my nerd habit.

    I enjoy D&D, the occasional game of Magic, and I am a known writer (and reader) of Harry Potter Fan Fiction. Not the pornographic sort. Get your mind out of the gutter.

    As for Nerd being a term for high school kids...bah! Padawan (that's what I call my boyfriend) is a professional nerd, and he is way past his high school graduation.

  14. wait..what?

    yeah...about that nerd thing...

    we were all nerds. just at a different level. all the cool kids...well, they were just kids so in the real world...not very cool...nerds...kinda like upper class nerds...

    the problem with youth is it is wasted on youth!

    popped over from SD's site!

    Bruce Johnson JADIP
    Evil Twin
    stupid stuff I see and hear
    The Dreamodeling Guy
    The Guy Book
    The Guy Book

  15. I would have to say its probably what books I read. I have a varied reading selection, but I lean a little on the nerdy side. I love Terry Pratchett, read all of the LOTR several times...are you getting the picture? I also do crossword puzzles while watching TV. like an old person.