Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Ode to Lady Haircutters

I think I mentioned this before, but it is important to mention again even if I already did. I found a good haircutter lady, Maria. I must first mention that I refuse to go to a fancy boutique of any sorts to get a haircut. My high-and-tight fade is pretty easy to do and has to be cut regularly enough where I refuse to pay more than $15 for it. I’ve searched far and wide to find a dive haircut place; I’ve looked around my work and where I live and have settled on the Fantastic Sam’s around the corner from my house. Honestly, I don’t have a specific haircutter there because I don’t want to hurt any of their feelings. Maria did it the best, but I will settle for one of the others. I just take the first available and pray it isn’t a man.

I don’t get how men get haircuts from other men, like at a barbershop. I derive more physical pleasure from a haircutter than I do from any other person (besides the obvious… I’m married). I’m not getting creepy here so don’t you. I’m not some deviant haircut fetish perv. I just think getting my hair washed feels awesome, getting my head shaved feels super awesome, and getting my hair cut feels super-duper awesome. This is the closest I get to infidelity.

A man doing it would just ruin the moment. My haircutter, whoever she may be, and I share these moments when she bonks my head with the clippers and blow dries my forehead; it’s cannot be shared with a man. A man would just create confusion and self-doubt. Can he do it just as well? He can talk about sports, too; is that better? Does he get me more because he’s a man?


Women haircutters.

I like women haircutters.


  1. Well...I only like women to mess with my hair. My stylist gives me a neck and head massage when she gives me my must-have shampoo. It's awesome.

    I did let a man cut my hair once because my stylist was sick and I had plans that night that needed a good styling.

    Biggest mistake ever. He messed it up so badly I had to complain.

  2. I have had dudes cut my hair and find they always did a better job styling & highlighting then the women but for trimming women were better...

    I'm just thankful for my bestie as she's a hair dresser...she's cheap & hot so it's win-win for me.

  3. Best stylist of my life was a man. Lord when he washed my hair I thought I was in heaven. Unfortunately he was salon-hopper and it became to difficult to keep track of him so I found a lady instead. She's much more reliable, but less pleasurable. As it is, I still drive 6 hour for my hair cuts so I don't think I have a very "real" perspective on the matter.

  4. I'm with ya, Johnny. I go to Sport Clips, a very manly, sport-o place, but always stocked with women cutting the hair. I tried to just get my wife to shave my head a couple of times, but it's not the same as the actual, professional haircut from a talented woman.
    It Just Got Interesting

  5. I had a man cut my hair a while ago. I went to the usual, filled with women, generic haircutter and just happened to get the only man. He had never been there before and I have not seen him there since. He did a great job, seriously, my hair kicked butt...but you are right. It wasn't the same. Despite really liking the result, the process was lacking.
    Funny Stuff I Write And Draw

  6. Pretty nifty hair style dude! Women hair stylists are always better. I'm sure if you head to sugarland my mom would be more than happy to get you hooked up and get reacquainted with you. Im sure she'd be thrilled to see how big you've gotten.


  7. I cut my own hair. When I get bored. Screw paying someone to do that. So far every time that happened it sucked. I'd rather just mess it up myself XD


  8. I heard somewhere about "topless" haircut places. I know, by the sight of some male barbers, that's sure not something I'd wanna see or participated in, although, I've seen some female hair stylists too, that I'm just fine with them being just my haircutter.

  9. Haha! How did I miss this post? I'm the opposite. I hate getting my hair cut. I only like strangers running touching my hair when I'm drunk.