I don’t have the mental capacity to write a full, coherent blog post today, for I have Swine Flu. Yes, I’m so out of style that I just caught on to Swine Flu from 2009. I was shivering in bed on Thursday night and woke up with a 102.5 temperature on Friday. It has sucked to say the least. I’ve just been going in and out of consciousness for 3 days. Don’t get Swine Flu if you can help it.
Here are notes from my deathbed:
Movies and Movie Commercials I’ve Seen
The King of Kong is an awesome movie – possibly the best movie about video games of all time.
Why does Hollywood keep making romantic comedies? They all look just so horrible. When the plot of a movie can be summarized in one sentence, it shouldn’t be made. How do these movies make enough money to pay back their stars? For example, take the new one with Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston called Brooklyn Decker is Wearing a Yellow Bikini or the new one with Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman called Friends Sleeping Together and also the Indian Chick from The Office (you choose). How do they make enough money to pay the actors? On average, each one of the actors gets paid at least $10 million, so that’s $20 million for both actors per movie. There is no way these movies are making that money back, right? I mean, people aren’t seeing them, right?
Also, what’s up with Big Momma’s House 3? How did a second movie get made, much less a third? Who is the target audience for this by the way? I don’t know any black people who are dumb/lame enough to like this, so maybe dumb white people who think it will impress their black friends if they see this pretend to like it.
Other Stuff
On Friday, CBS interrupted The Price is Right to tell it’s viewers that President Mubarak of Egypt had officially stepped down. I get why this is news, but seriously, do we need to interrupt TPIR? I can personally guarantee that no one watching TPIR on a Friday morning gives a crap about Middle Eastern politics. I threw my orange juice at the TV because I didn’t get to see how much that knife set cost. I’m still pissed.
I can barely sit up because I’m so sick, but my back really hurts from lying down so much. I’ve run out of solutions.
This looked like the nicest weekend in Houston in a long time, and I was inside watching a marathon of Yes, Dear. No joke. I had never seen an episode before, and now I could answer any trivia question about it. Like...
What is the crappiest sitcom of all time?
Yes, Dear.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding…. You win!
I'm not even sure I knew there was a TV program called Yes, Dear. I am impressed with your new founds skill. Perhaps you can work this new knowledge in a social setting and impress folks. That plus your flu stories should make you the social hit of the season.
ReplyDeleteAnd IT WAS the most beautiful weekend in NC in a very long time.
Dude...feel better!
ReplyDeleteI'm with ya on the romantic comedies...I would rather watch a cheesy horror movie showing Paris Hilton get impaled with a pipe then watch Ashton Kutcher...do anything.
Ugh romantic comedies are terrible.
ReplyDeleteTo Life's Highway-
ReplyDeleteYes, Dear was on for six years and is now in syndication. Lead actor, Mike O'Malley, has actually won an Emmy (on Glee). But, yeah, the show is horrible. Just horrible.
To Absolutely Primed-
ReplyDeleteWhat about a movie wher Kutcher gets impaled?
To Zoe!
ReplyDeleteWord.
You must be feeling pretty delirious if you are watching Yes, Dear. That show is just as brutal as all the ridic romcoms you mentioned. Can't stand them! Hope you start to feel better soon. And if anything should get you up and out of the house, it is the premier of Big Momma's House 3. Why, God, why!?
ReplyDeleteI had the plague for a while, not the real plague, but that is what I called it. Took me over 4 weeks to fully get over it. Still coughing a little. Get better and I hope someone brings you some redbox to keep you from watching any more daytime tv...main reason I try not to get sick...
ReplyDeleteFunny Stuff I Write And Draw
Heh. I wrote about how the Ashton Kutcher/Natalie Portman film is titled "Sex Friends" over here in France. :-P
ReplyDeleteHope you feel better soon!
-Barb the French Bean
OMG. i'm so sick of RomComs i could die.
ReplyDeletebut i won't. cus there needs to be people like me in the world left to critize them properly.
Ha! My bf and I were just marveling at Big Momma's House 3. How did it get made? Why? And Yes Dear, ugh! I watched nearly episode of that a few years ago because my roommate liked it. How is it still on? These things are like roaches. They won't die! And I am so sick of these awful romcoms I could puke all over Kutcher's doofy fart face. Also that video is hilarious. Dude compared himself with Helen of Troy and God. Amazing.
ReplyDeleteWhat gets me is why Natalie Portman would sink to doing a movie like that with AK. She's nominated for an Academy Award for christssake. WTF?
ReplyDeleteI knew I forgot one. *Sigh* Sorry about that. I meant to tell you I gave you a blog award today and you're supposed to go look at my blog to get it. But you're sick and probably feel like you're dying right now, so no hurry. I hear that Swine Flu thing is a kick in the...well, a kick in the whatever.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, they make awful chick flicks for girls like me. Obviously. So I can sit at home in my PJs on my day off with a cheesecake, a Dr. Pepper, and my five pound dog and live vicariously through obviously fake people until Padawan comes home and I can do something productive...like own him in Scrabble. Just so you know.
King of Kong = nerd heaven. This is what happens when you get really good at something no one else cares about. Great movie. And ditto to everything else you got about movies and TV.
ReplyDeleteIt Just Got Interesting
How on earth did you get Swine Flu? Nevermind, I don't want to know...
ReplyDeleteAlso, your blog award from Chanel has been duplicated by me, go ahead and feel proud of your popularity. It's pretty much all you've got going right now what with your disease and everything...
Seeing as I read this 2 days late...I hope you're feeling better!!
ReplyDeleteAnd it was an amazing weekend in Houston weather wise...I didn't realize you were from my home town!