I don’t have the mental capacity to write a full, coherent blog post today, for I have Swine Flu. Yes, I’m so out of style that I just caught on to Swine Flu from 2009. I was shivering in bed on Thursday night and woke up with a 102.5 temperature on Friday. It has sucked to say the least. I’ve just been going in and out of consciousness for 3 days. Don’t get Swine Flu if you can help it.
Here are notes from my deathbed:
Movies and Movie Commercials I’ve Seen
The King of Kong is an awesome movie – possibly the best movie about video games of all time.
Why does Hollywood keep making romantic comedies? They all look just so horrible. When the plot of a movie can be summarized in one sentence, it shouldn’t be made. How do these movies make enough money to pay back their stars? For example, take the new one with Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston called Brooklyn Decker is Wearing a Yellow Bikini or the new one with Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman called Friends Sleeping Together and also the Indian Chick from The Office (you choose). How do they make enough money to pay the actors? On average, each one of the actors gets paid at least $10 million, so that’s $20 million for both actors per movie. There is no way these movies are making that money back, right? I mean, people aren’t seeing them, right?
Also, what’s up with Big Momma’s House 3? How did a second movie get made, much less a third? Who is the target audience for this by the way? I don’t know any black people who are dumb/lame enough to like this, so maybe dumb white people who think it will impress their black friends if they see this pretend to like it.
On Friday, CBS interrupted The Price is Right to tell it’s viewers that President Mubarak of Egypt had officially stepped down. I get why this is news, but seriously, do we need to interrupt TPIR? I can personally guarantee that no one watching TPIR on a Friday morning gives a crap about Middle Eastern politics. I threw my orange juice at the TV because I didn’t get to see how much that knife set cost. I’m still pissed.
I can barely sit up because I’m so sick, but my back really hurts from lying down so much. I’ve run out of solutions.
This looked like the nicest weekend in Houston in a long time, and I was inside watching a marathon of Yes, Dear. No joke. I had never seen an episode before, and now I could answer any trivia question about it. Like...
What is the crappiest sitcom of all time?
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding…. You win!